6 writing mindset mistakes to avoid - and what to do instead

Have you ever worried that your writing abilities are just a fairy tale you’ve told yourself?

That you’ll never finish your book / make sales / be as good as That Famous Author Over There?

If that sounds like you, you’re not alone.

Authors are creative, sensitive people, and the world often isn’t kind to people with sensitive hearts and minds.

But getting into bad mindset habits makes your journey as a writer a lot harder. I’m going to be real with you. This blog post won’t be light and fluffy. It will encourage you to look at some of the negative stories you’re telling yourself as a writer, and the ways you’re giving your power away.

That’s not a barrel of laughs. I know that. But it’s worth doing this. It’s worth taking the time to work on your mindset.

Why? Because when you do, you learn to listen less to your inner critic. Well meaning (or for that matter ill meaning) judgements roll off you like condensation down a glass.

It’s a more comfortable experience all round. And you deserve that?.

So, grab a beverage, maybe a notebook in case this spurs some thoughts, and let’s dive right in with 6 writing mindset mistakes to avoid (and what to do instead.)

1. Defining yourself as a failure

Doesn’t sound like something anyone wants to do, right? But you’d be surprised how many authors define themselves this way. Not enough words today? Failure. Not enough sales? Failure. Writing not coming out as polished as you’d like? Failure.

When your inner critic tries to drag you on board the feeling like a failure train, it can be hard to resist. What if they’re right?

They’re not right.

When you constantly tell yourself you’re failing as a writer, you kill your own enthusiasm. It’s hard to feel joy about something you’re dreading.

You don’t have to define yourself this way. I promise. It’s not making you a better or more productive writer. It’s making you a more stressed writer. Life’s too short for that.

2. Defining yourself by your word count

I love WriterTok. I love the writing community on Facebook.

I don’t love the constant “inspo” about writing seventy thousand words before breakfast each day.

Why? Because writers who can’t write so fast their fingers start sending off sparks, feel terrible when they see these posts.

It’s well meaning. As a writer you’re supposed to see these posts and say “no more excuses! If they can do it, so can I!”

Now we’re back to the first point. You’re defining yourself as a failure if you don’t write enough words.

Yes, if you want to write a book you do in fact need to write a certain number of words. But doing the mental equivalent of slapping yourself with a wet kipper isn’t going to help you write them. That’s just going to leave you damp, annoyed, and with a weird smell of fish in your nostrils.

The best thing you can do for yourself is go at the pace that suits you. Depending on your health (mental and physical) and life, sometimes that’s going to look very different than the TikTok inspo videos with the beautiful office setups.
And that, word wrangler, is absolutely fine.

3. Taking unsolicited criticism too much to heart

Constructive criticism is part of the writer’s journey. But not all criticism is wanted or helpful.

Constructive criticism comes from someone you asked for input. An author friend, writing group, critique partner, beta reader or editor. It’s job is to help you. Yes, part of constructive criticism is looking at what’s not working. But the overall thrust should be helping you improve.

Then there’s destructive criticism. It usually comes from well meaning people who don’t know the craft of writing, or don’t know how to give good, useful criticism. Sometimes it comes from people who don’t like your genre or the trope you’re writing. Heck, sometimes it comes from spiteful people who wish they had the guts to go after their dreams.

Wherever it comes from, destructive criticism doesn’t help you. And you don’t help yourself when you let it yuck your yum.

I’ve seen so many writers get one piece of criticism and fall down a shame spiral, convincing themselves they should delete everything and go become a goat farmer.

Don’t do this to yourself. Learning to ignore destructive criticism takes practice, but it’s so much better for your mental health. If the criticism’s not from someone genuinely trying to support or help you, out the window it goes.

4. Writing for others

This is a tricky one. Yes, of course you want your ideal readers to enjoy your book. You want them to like it and review it and tell all their friends to drop everything and read it.

The pitfall as a writer is getting too caught up in this too soon. The time to ask whether the plot works or the characters resonate, is when you start working with beta readers or critique partners, or when you hire an editor or book coach.

When you’re sitting in front of a handful of chapters, or a blank page, asking yourself whether your idea is too weird, too tropey, or has been done too much, you’re doing yourself a disservice. All of that can be fixed later. It all comes down to how you execute the idea.

Take a look on Amazon, Goodreads, or your local bookstore. There are books out there with every plot you can think of, and many of them are fresh takes on beloved favourites.

Your reader won’t be seeing it yet. This book is going to be polished and revised before it hits the shelves. So don’t tie yourself in knots about what they might think. That’s like deciding to open a bakery and panicking over whether your customers would prefer vanilla or chocolate cupcakes, when you don’t have a shop, an oven, or even any flour yet.

5. Shaming yourself

Sometimes when I explain a concept to one of my clients, like headhopping, or telling not showing, they respond by saying sorry.

Please don’t be sorry for not knowing something, or not having a ton of practice with it yet.

A helpful phrase to remember here is “you don’t know what you don’t know.” And, it’s BFF, “when you know better, you do better.”

It’s ok to be learning and growing as a writer. I promise, it’s fine if you don’t know something, or you realise you’ve been making a common writing mistake.

Keep going. Keep learning and practising. It’s all part of the adventure, and you don’t have to be shitty to yourself about that. Learned something new? Great! Now you can improve your craft and build your confidence. That’s not a bad thing.

6. Letting others define your worth as a writer

If you take one thing away from this post, let it be this: Other people don’t get to define your worth as a writer.

There are so many ways in which authors let this happen.

Someone laughs at you for wanting to write a book so you decide your dream is ridiculous.

You get a catty review that makes you feel an inch tall and you have to fight the urge to take your book down.

You’re loving your book idea and then you see a Facebook discussion about how that trope is so overdone and no one wants to read that any more (hint: They do. Or tropes wouldn’t be popular.) So you burn your whole plot to the ground.

Don’t give other people that amount of power over your book - or over you. When you let others define your worth as an author, you give them far too much power to tear you down. You become like a butterfly buffeted by the wind, doubting your direction every time.

Butterflies are beautiful. But as a writer, you want to be a dragon. You can be a sweet, sensitive dragon, yes. But you still need to grow thick enough scales to deflect real or imagined barbs.

This is hard work. I’m not going to sugar coat that. But it’s worth it to stand strong in your own creativity and writing dream, and not let others decide that for you.

That’s great - but what can you do about it?

This all sounds positive and proactive, but how do you actually do it?

The answers is simple - but not easy.

Step one. Practice noticing when you’re falling into these writing mindset pitfalls. This takes time, attention, and a commitment to noticing.

Step two. Learn to talk more kindly to yourself. I realise that’s a tall order. Like I said, simple, but not easy. There are lots of ways to approach this. You could say affirmations, leave yourself positive notes, write reminders and stick them up where you’ll see them. Learn a couple of mantras you can pull out when the self doubt kicks in.

Deep changes to how you think and talk about yourself as a writer don’t happen overnight or even over a month or a year. But it’s worth it to keep practising when the grand prize is less stress, more confidence, and falling wildly in love with your work and your process.

Yours in ink and magic,
Allie